by Luther Knauff, November 1, 1943, Introduction to Systematic Theology
I am convinced that God was preparing me all my years for the life of a minister, but I had intentionally blinded my mind’s eye to seeing my assigned place in God’s Kingdom. That dynamic, subjective explosion which we know as a call didn’t really come until I was substantially started on the road to being a chemist. That night in February 1941 I like Jacob of old “wrestled with the Lord” and it is apparent who won and who only could win. The power of the Lord had become so manifest that in the face of apparent success in my studious endeavors and diligent application to my work I was utterly unsatisfied with myself. Things had been progressing splendidly since I had obtained some of the best results in analytical work in a large class and made honor roll status each semester, but I knew no inner peace because I was running contrary to God’s plan and couldn’t prevail.
Never before or since has there been a night in which I couldn’t sleep at all, but that momentous fifth of February I didn’t sleep one wink. I had marshalled out all my arguments to continue my scientific preparation, but they fell repeatedly as God convinced me that he wanted me for Himself.
In the morning I dressed, had a short consultation with Dean Armin Meyer, and proceeded to register for a pre-seminary course. This necessitated that I fill out drop cards for practically all my courses, but my whole life was involved so no action could be too drastic.
This, in brief, is the succession of events that engendered the greatest and most wonderful change in my life – that is the one of which I was cognizant. Of course, becoming a child of GOD in baptism brought me into the dispensation of God’s Grace and was more significant, but that was entirely an act of the Holy Spirit which I can only now in a measure comprehend, but my calling to the ministry was something I could feel and at last make the decision that to the best of my ability, my future was to be in coincidence with God’s will.
In earlier years I had thought about the ministry various times but for as many reasons assured myself that it was not my field. People used to ask me often whether I was going to follow in father’s footsteps of preaching the Gospel to which I had always replied with an emphatic – “no”. I had replied “no” so easily because I saw the “inside” of a minister’s work: hundreds of cases in in appreciation and thanklessness on the part of people, a meager salary, being expected to solve the problems of dozens of wayward people, attempting to overcoming indifference by dozens of calls daily, etc. No, sir that wasn’t for this little boy: A more rosy future could be had for the choosing.
It had always been the hope and prayer of Dad and Mother that I become a preacher but even when they persuaded me to go to Capital, they used no pressure to induce me to pursue a pre-seminary course but supported me fully in attaining my ambitions in the field of chemistry.
As I entered college, I was convinced that I didn’t have qualifications that would make a good minister. My potentialities were definitely set in the areas of chemistry and mathematics. English that I used and wrote was nigh unto atrocious. People and crowds disgusted me for I would rather deal with nature, with chemical phenomena, with the fertile earth, and with concrete facts.
I found Cap a delightful environment and the Christian atmosphere and fellowship much as I had hoped. In my roommate I found a young fellow about my age with analogous interests and almost identical ideals of life and Christian devotion. Worship especially had come in my home training and personality development to occupy an important place in my mind. I couldn’t understand how future seminary students and pastors with whom I associated could take such a lackadaisical attitude toward Sunday School and Luther League. These were prime concerns for me as a child of God and although I had no intention of becoming a leader of the church in the capacity of a pastor, I felt obligated to repay in my feeble way a little of the love that my Jesus had so graciously bestowed upon me by being faithful to his Church which had nurtured me. With joy I looked forward to Sunday School, divine worship, and Luther League.
My roommate was a chemistry student also, but more important he was a consecrated Christian. Associations with other fellows in old Lehmann Hall especially the fine personality of Bob Wietelmann lead me to think a couple of times but very lightly that seminary work would interest me.
At semester time of my sophomore year I was brought to think more seriously of my future work because I had to decide whether I would spend two or three years at Cap for it was obvious that I must transfer to a technical school to complete my education. This left my mind in a reflective frame and one of a slight bit of indecision. The day of February 5th I was plotting a tentative course for my third year at Cap since I had decided upon that. Already two days of the second semester had passed. Quite casually Bill Kiether had dropped into our room after dinner that evening to ask my advice on certain math courses and I learned that he was a pre-sem boy with mathematical inclinations like myself. After he left I began to thinking “Luther you could be a minister if you only wanted to devote yourself entirely to Christ”. Oh no-but I have too many valid reasons why I should not. These were the props that God had to knock out from my complacent status in His Kingdom. After all there were thousands of souls that didn’t know His Love and never would if we young fellows with the wonderful background of the Lutheran parsonage didn’t take a great interest in their spiritual welfare. And an interest strong enough to give our live to His cause of service in advancing the Kingdom of God.
Now I can see dozens of ways how God in his mercy chose me to preach the living Gospel to this turbulent world. The fact that I was independent from parental-forced decisions quite early left me with a strong will. This proved to be the biggest barrier that stood in the way of hearing God’s call. Already when I was twelve, I was away from home for the summer months working on granddad’s farm. In short, I “grew up” very young. People used to be astounded to hear me talk in my early teens with mature poise and development and at the same time look at a thin, little kid who played football and baseball in almost all the daylight time apart from the school classroom. I had skipped seventh grade in junior high, so I looked the more immature but in my middle high school years was dabbling in statistics in my spare time, inventing baseball games, and planning new farming techniques.
One of my most treasured possessions was the Bible that my parents gave me for Confirmation when I was twelve. Immediately I began a devotional life to read the entire Bible, which I completed in a little less that two years. Naturally in such early years and hasty reading I didn’t accrue very complete knowledge of it, but I found daily inspiration in those covers of Holy Scriptures.
Those three months each summer that I worked hard and long hours on our northern Pennsylvanian farm were preparing me for the ministry too. By becoming one of them I learned the minds, to love and understand those Pennsylvania Dutch farmers and oil field workers. In my church connections there and my Sunday School teaching I found that I could talk more freely with them about their lives and spiritual longings than their minister could many times and often formulate into words the ideas that were latent but defying expression from their tongues. So, I can see that the Lord led me there each summer including the last when I could have secured jobs more remunerative in urban areas. Now I can look forward to assuming a rural pastorate with hopes of success for I am sympathetic with their entire sociological pattern.
I found that God hadn’t placed all my capabilities along a scientific line, but I could feel him developing an acceptable spoken and written ease in English which I had lacked prior to my call mainly because of my aversion to the subject. In molding a future preacher God was very generous for he gave me a clear and powerful voice if I only now develop the technique in using it effectually. Very important is the fact that I am intellectually curious which compensates for the situation that my intelligence quotient doesn’t make me by nature gifted.
There are many other ways that I can discern God benevolent hand in my life to prepare me for the ministry of the Word. In a sense my dear parents at my birth, their first son, made a mental reservation that I should become God’s servant. Of course, I didn’t know about this until after I had decided to fulfil by the help of God my high calling which is in Christ Jesus. When the news of my decision reached my Mother, it was one of the happiest days of her life for she prayed almost every day that God would manifest Himself so strongly to me that I would see His path.
Last of all I want to preach because I have something to preach--not my own but God’s precious message of salvation to sinful man. Our Lutheran Church in preaching Christ and him crucified delivers sinful men from speaking for ourselves and make us fervently conscious that we are mere mouthpieces of God through his Holy Word. This desire to speak the will of God so abundant in Grace and Truth has become almost an obsession with me. Oh, that God will grant me the physical strength and mental acumen to continue diligently in my study and His ministry! He will!
